01 / THE HOTEL ALIBI
Velvet intentions.
Last seen looking expensive near a lift he definitely did not book.
THE AFTER-HOURS DOSSIER / ISSUE 02
Dangerously
well dressed.
PARODY
ONLYINSPECT THE EVIDENCE ↓
PRIVATE VIEWING / THREE EXHIBITS
The camera
believed him.
The friends remain unconvinced.02 / THE FLASH INCIDENT
Caught arriving late.
The cameras found him before the group chat could locate him.
03 / THE LOUNGE STATEMENT
No comment. Great suit.
A formal response was requested. A twelve-minute voice note was received.
INTERACTIVE / CONFIDENCE EXPOSURE TEST
How much Romeo
can you survive?
Adjust the exposure level. The assessment is unscientific, unnecessary and legally best described as “banter.”
68%
SAFECATASTROPHIC
VERDICT: Questionable decisions pending
THE MORNING AFTER / SELECTED COVERAGE
LOCAL MAN SAYS ‘FIVE MINUTES’ FROM ANOTHER POSTCODE
Source: a mate who was definitely there.CONFIDENCE MARKET REACHES UNPRECEDENTED HIGH
Source: a mate who was definitely there.GROUP CHAT DENIES FUNDING LUXURY ENTRANCE
Source: a mate who was definitely there.WITNESSES REPORT OPEN COLLAR, CLOSED CASE
Source: a mate who was definitely there.FINAL FINDING / CASE UNRESOLVED